How to Greet a New pal 6

I am an English speaker, so this is read left to right-
I'm going to include the dialogs below so that other languages may translate it easily!

Dialog Script:
uh...
listen buddy...
i think you're getting the wrong idea here

well...
i think you're giving everyone the wrong idea...
heh
i never said anything about a machine
so... ya still wanna play stupid huh...?

come'on buddy, do you really think i'd like to myself...?
i got a machine sure, but I never got it to work
trust me... i gave up trying a long time ago...
and if I had to take a guess about your situation...
so have you...
tch...

then how the hell did'ja?-
s'not like ya can jus'-
ya can't go around changin' universes n' timelines by accident...!
shit like that doesn't happen...!
there's gotta be a reason ya showed up here
the DT costs alone ta transfer timelines would make things-
WAIT!
ain't it supposed ta be bad if ya meet'cher self...!

uh...?
nevermind we ain't similar 'nuff fer that ta matter...
i get it, buddy...
seeing someone like me here is probably making you feel some hope for once...
like maybe you can finally get out of whatever's going on...
but i'm telling you, i really don't know how i got here...
all i know is.. i was supposed to wake up to the very gentle voice of my brother telling me i'm late for work... but instead i slept in under a blanket of snow...

ya really sure ya don't know nothin'...?
no sleatcrets here
heh ice snow it's hard to believe but i'm really not flaking it
well then...
looks like ya've got shitty luck, lazy ass...
cause yer in fer a real bad time

huh...?
if i take a guess based on those stupid clothes yer wearing', n' that idiotic grin ya always got on her dumb face... ya came from some wimpy place where everyone's nice n' happy n' friends wit' eachother
eh... it's a little cramped... but it's still all tight...
well i ain't like htat here, smiley!
so i suggest ya stop runnin' yer mouth n' get with the program...

the... program...?
down here... it's kill or be killed...

heh heh
n' even someone as lazy as me's lookin' fer some free exp...
come'on buddy... you wouldn't kill yourself...
pfttt!

i- i wouldn't... i wouldn't what!?!
hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah

hah hah h-holy shit!!!
s-stop stop!
yer killin' me over here!
i can't...
holy shit i can't
hah hah hah
hah hah
heh...
that's gotta be the best damn joke ya've told so far...

lemmie tell ya how it works, number two...
monsters don't give two shits if it's their own damn brother, let alone someone sho'w supposed ta be some sad, shitty version of themselves!

what part of kill or be killed dont'cha get...?

crunch crunch
SANS
heh... looks like Boss's back already...
so... wait...! you're not gonna help me?
with what...? ya already said ya don't know how ya got here...