How to Greet a New pal 8

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Transcript:
pfffft- heh heh heh heh heh heh
paps heheh he-
heh he actually hung you up too...
heh
SHUT THE FUCK UP THIS WHOLE THING IS YOUR FAULT!

oh really...?
guess i didn't notice cause i was too busy "mewing" in agony...
h-hey hey! watch the HP, buddy
that's the point asshole
hurry upn' die n' gett outta here n' stop ruinin' my life!
i told'ja ta be serious!
how can i be serious when i'm Sans...?
mmph-
don't laugh
don't'cha fuckin' laugh...
sh-shit i'm starting to realize why Boss threatens ta kill me every fuckin' day...

hah...
hey'a...
been meaning to ask, now that we're hanging out...
what's the deal with you and your bro anyway...?
the hell is that supposed ta mean...?
i can't tell if you two get along or...?
heh...
or maybe it's been your plan to end up hanging out with me this whole time
sneaky...

tch...
i already told'ja it's kill r' be killed down here...
so when i fuck around, Boss... h=he-
hah...
m-my bro's ju' tryin' ta save my sorry ass by keepin' me from goofin' off to hard n' causing problems...
how's that going for him...?
the hell does it look like it's going'...?

listen, number two...
ya got lucky today cause Boss was in a good mood, but it ain't always gonna be like that
s-sometimes-
...sometimes he ain't in as good'a mood n' then ya'll be sorry ya were bein' n' idiot n' fuckin' off...
next time he comes in here... if ya try'n pull that shit again...
n' bring me along wit'cha...
i'll fuckin' kill-

-ya...
heh...
that was easier than i though...
h-huh...?
y-ya...
huh...?
ahh geeze...
can't believe my arms went and fell asleep without me...

what were you saying before...?
h-how can ya...
yer free...?
come on buddy...
don't tell me you can't take a simple shortcut...?
yeah, i can!
but it's a shortcut, not a teleport
ya can't jus' take a shortcut whenever ya want, n' specially not when yer captured!
who says i was ever captured...?

can't really call it that when you let it happen, now... can you...?
but... ya can't!
that's cheagin'...!
cheating huh...?
well now... that would be kinda rude of me...

but it's nowhere near as rude as kill or be killed...